Lady Gaga: (Ray of) Madonna Light

I’ve talked about the over-hyped pop juggernaut that is Lady Gaga before. In that article from May 2010, I pointed out that Lady Gaga is just Madonna on steroids. Madonna for a new generation of kids to grow up idolizing for her fashion choices and inane bullshit dance club music. Lady Gaga has been tearing pages out of the Madonna playbook for a while now, just check out 3:18 of the “Telephone” video for an example. However, my main distinction between the two was that Madonna actually had some good songs, and after all, this is a blog about music.

I heard “Born This Way” for the first time about a week or two after it came out in February. The very first thing that came to my mind was “This song sounds really familiar…what is it?” Once it got to the chorus, it clicked. “Express Yourself” by Madonna. I’m not saying anyone should be sued for plagiarism here. Saying something like “It’s all been done” is the truth when it comes to music. Every song and every piece today are ripping off something from the past. The greatest musicians, however, find ways to at least hide it a little bit and not wear it openly on their sleeves like a badge of honor.

The point here is that anyone familiar with “Express Yourself” will recognize that “Born This Way” is completely ripping it off and the biggest problem is that “Express Yourself” isn’t even a good Madonna song. They’ve both got a heavy club dance beat, major melodic and harmonic similarities, a synth-heavy backing track, and lyrics about being yourself. This is the kind of music that is only good if you’re either twelve and don’t really know anything about music yet, or drunk at a club and anything with a some heavy four-on-the-floor synth kick drum will satisfy you enough to just dance, as your precious Mother Monster would say.

I’ve had enough of the Mother Monster/Little Monster business, too. Every artist loves their fans. Why wouldn’t they? The artist would be nothing without the fans. Enough of the cult shit. Just buy a t-shirt at the show or on her website and let that speak for you.

But what exactly will it say as it speaks for you? Something along the lines of: “I am twelve and what is this?” “I think coming out of an egg and wearing a meat dress are really good ideas, you guys!” and finally, “I’m a tool who loves flashy imagery so much that it makes me believe this is good music!”

I swear to you, the moment that I hear a good Lady Gaga song, I will come on here and write a review about it. Your move, BlahBlah.