So let’s talk about the list of shit Boozetina Aguilera has pulled this year.
- Gained a shit ton of weight. Gaining weight isn’t a horrible thing and god knows her body usually looks like canteloupes stuck on a yard stick, but she went above and beyond.
- Got into a catfight with Burlesque costar Julianne Hough. First of all, that’s Derek’s sister you are messing with and I CANNOT have people stressing my boo out. Secondly, how you gonna try to lay hands on someone at a red carpet event? Trashy.
- Went to a party uninvited and passed out in the host’s bed. Jeremy Renner is way classier than me because the last time some random white girl passed out in my bed without permission she got COMPLETELY doused with red kool-aid. And I made her buy me new sheets.
- Fucking her new boo in public bathrooms. Which is normal for ME but I don’t have jamillions of dollars. And StraightSex in bathrooms just seems so much less classy than a blowjob between gay buddies.
- Arrested for public intoxication. The report says her boo was driving around all crazy and got pulled over by the cops who determined he was drunk. Tina was just white girl wasted and unable to take care of herself so they had to bring her in too. I love living in NY. I can get white girl wasted anytime I want and the subway train conductor will just take me where I need to go.
The need to just go ahead and put her in rehab before she starts messing up Whitney style and can’t sing.
Also, LOL @ this old picture:
It’s like Madonna is in the process of adopting her from some developing nation. She should restart those proceedings.
No comments:
Post a Comment